I’ve had difficulty relating to those with the 12 step programs since I would hear followers talk in excuses “I do/need/react this way cause of history/events/genetics/etc and acknowledging this and giving up to higher power it’s all better”. I restrained myself from responding ” but YOU choose everyday what to do and/or how to respond”. Of course after certain age blaming your parents is ridiculous, there is a statute of limitations for these things. (except when it comes to indoctrinating you to cheer for FSU – couldn’t resist!)

Not too sure about brain parts…you seem to have a highly developed musical sense…having no trouble with translating the symbology to actual sound…got a great ear. There’s this persistent idea that music and math somehow go together…good at one, good at the other. I have ample evidence that it’s a flawed theory. In your case, seems to be true, though I don’t know how much actual math goes in to the stuff you do now. Enough, I suppose.

I am reminded very specifically that while I was in school in NYC, I took it into my head that I wanted to sketch stuff…bought some chalk and a pad and Mom and I went to Central Park and I started in. Somewhere there’s a sketch of Mom that I did. It is clear that it wasn’t my talent…all that’s left of my yen to sketch is those faculty meeting doodles, which don’t need to look like anything.

My opinion is that you should re-think your bad opinion of your artistic skills. You should do a large abstract…seriously…and see where it takes you.

In your copious spare time.

If that’s true, it is of little use to us, I guess. None of that tells us how to exist except to wait. Meanwhile, its kind of nice that there are commandments to tell us how to be good…or at least how not to be too bad, but they seem to be terribly ineffective to those who believe most strongly that they are the words of a deity.

If we take, as you suggest, ultimate responsibility for the crappy things we do, we’d be more likely to have a little talk with ourselves about that. We all are aware of the little glow we get from doing a good thing for others, and we all, except for sociopaths, know how bad we can feel when we realize that we’ve harmed others. That’s us..that’s not external. There is morality without religion, and there is plenty of evil with it.

Anyway…enjoyed that. Works for me.

Plus…there is so much more to do on the Cape than on Edisto and the seafood is every bit as good or better. What we don’t have a feel for is how to find it fresh to cook.